Welcome to the NINETIETH issue of The Vibe. That’s 9-0. That’s crazy. Anyway, it’s Daniel stealing your eyeballs for a few minutes today to share one of my patent pending perspective shifts.

Part of the journey of wellness is navigating your emotions while life throws constant curveballs your way. Sometimes, you get little hints and nudges to get you on the path, and sometimes a full-blown f!#%in’ bomb goes off and you’re forced to build a new path around the crater where your life used to be.

Recently, I’ve noticed a lot of people going through big changes in their lives, so I wanted to chat about what happens when the door you think you’re supposed to walk through closes in your face. Let’s do this.v

the good in goodbye

Let’s face it, humans are stubborn. We don’t really love change, and we don’t enjoy the fear of the unknown. We tend to get comfortable, even when something isn’t serving us anymore. Usually we feel like we have to stay – like if we hate our job, we’ll stay because we need to make money to live. Once we’re in a relationship, workplace, or routine, we tend to stick to it because of the predictability factor. What we know can’t hurt us, right?

The issue is, when we stay in a situation that we’ve grown out of – even if it’s not in our best interest – the Universe has no choice but to choose for you. That’s when it reaches out and hits the “eject” button to get you out of where you are.

Even though a higher version of you has a higher vision for you, it doesn’t seem to matter in the moment. When $#!% hits the fan and our situation changes rapidly, it feels bad. We question our choices and our existence and we spiral into self-pity.

AND, whether we understand it or not, this is the moment where everything shifts for the better. In those moments of uncertainty where you dust yourself off and grieve the version of your life that existed before, a new path is being forged.

Amazing things are possible when we get out of our own way. But sometimes we don’t realize we’re in the way. Luckily there’s a force beyond us with a higher perspective that knows what we’re truly capable of; a force of energy that can flip a switch and change everything in an instant.

While at the time it might seem harsh or cruel, I think on an energetic level, if you are only trusting your “logical” mind while also evolving beyond your pre-existing life conditions, the Universe has no choice but to take the reins and get you out of situations you wouldn’t leave on your own.

And even though those moments can be filled with shock, fear and heartbreak… that’s when the magic begins.

finding the greener grass

Sometimes where you’re meant to end up is in a completely different place than you’re currently in, which means sometimes the path has to change abruptly in order to get you there. This is the best story example I could ever give:

My older brother, Jeff, has been obsessed with golf since he was young. He worked at a golf course as soon as he legally could. He even used to mow the grass down low and make golf greens to practice putting in our backyard. Jeff eventually went to school for Turfgrass Management with the intention of one day running his own golf course. Right out of University, he was hired as Assistant Superintendent at a prestigious new golf course that was being built in the area. He got married, bought his first house and then he and my sister-in-law, Terri, had their first baby.

Now, Jeff is smart, loyal and the hardest worker you’ll ever meet. He literally helped build this course from the ground up. He gave it his heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears; he would have never left this job. That’s why it was a shock when a change in ownership caused a major shake-up and, despite being assured his job was safe, he was abruptly laid off.

I’ll never forget answering that phone call from my brother that day. He had pulled over into a parking lot in tears and total disbelief. He didn’t know what he was going to do. To recap: he had a new house and a new baby to support and the rug had just been pulled from underneath him.

You know, it’s super annoying when you’re in a big shift and have the understanding that  “everything happens for a reason” – but it doesn’t stop you from feeling like you’re knee-deep in bull$#!%. That said, I knew at the time that someone as dedicated and ambitious as Jeff would bounce back quickly, and I did my best to assure him of this. Spoiler alert: he bounced back – and this is where the change in path gets interesting.

Jeff almost immediately found a job installing windows and doors. This allowed him to accumulate tools and gain experience in the trades. Then he got a trailer for his truck. Then he got the nifty idea to start his own business building putting greens and short-game courses on people’s properties using synthetic turf… and Ikes Turf was born.

Jeff quickly built a reputation for being a creative force in golf design and construction. He travelled around North America gaining more experience, working with industry pros and PGA golfers, and over the years he’s received requests from all around the world to have him come design and build a course for everything from residential developments to billionaire’s backyards. (He also upgraded from low-mow grass and now has a massive, stunning golf green in his own backyard.)

But it doesn’t stop there, in 2019 Jeff dreamed up the idea of a state-of-the-art indoor golf simulation facility. He invested in his vision, then built it from the ground up largely by himself (using skills that he learned post-layoff from working in the trades, by the way). In spring of 2020, Jeff and Terri opened The Golf Club.

5 days later, lockdowns caused their doors to close. Despite the setbacks, The Golf Club has become an incredibly successful local staple for golf and entertainment in our community.

So here’s the thing, Jeff was dedicated to a fault and the company that initially laid him off didn’t appreciate his value – but the Universe knew his true value and lovingly forced him in a direction he wouldn’t have chosen for himself at the time. I know if my brother had stayed at that golf course he’d have been running the show in no time, but at this point it’s obvious the Universe had bigger, better, brighter plans for him.

There’s no telling what he’ll do next, but surely without that initial ejection, he would never have known how high he could fly.

open the windows

You know that phrase “when one door closes another one opens”? Here’s my take on it: When one door closes, open the windows. Some windows are big, some are small, some require a bit of Windex to see clearly out of them, but they are there if you relax and pay attention. Keep calm and open yourself up to possibility – the Universe always has your back.

How do I know this? I’ve experienced situations too many times to count where the logical direction of things gets interrupted – usually in some dramatic fashion – but then very shortly after, the new path reveals itself and everything works out – usually in some amazing way – and a better situation arises within hours, days, weeks (sometimes minutes!) of going through some serious bullshit.

I hate to break it to you, but when you feel like your choice has been removed, it’s probably because you were going to make the wrong one. Rest assured, if life makes a decision for you, it’s the right one.

This is why, a lot of the time when I hear about a seemingly negative shift that’s out of someone’s control, I don’t say “I’m sorry!”, I say “Congratulations!” because I know there is some seriously good $#!% waiting on the horizon.

Last week a friend told me they’d been fired. I said Congratulations! Within days, several new business opportunities came their way.

A few weeks before that another friend told me she had separated from her husband. I said Congratulations! She’s feeling better and freer than ever before.

Have you experienced a situation where you were dumped, fired, evicted, or seemingly forced out of a situation. At the time, it’s pretty likely you had no intention to leave that situation, yet in the end, you probably realized it was for the best.

And if you’re going through this “Universal ejection” right now, trust me – you’re going to land right side up. Why? Because if I know anything about navigating life on this planet, it’s that life happens for us not to us. Yes, even when it feels $#!%ty, even when it’s hard – especially when it’s hard.

So don’t ever worry about any doors closing. The windows will reveal themselves and I promise the air is fresher on the other side.