Life is short. Make it sweet.

How to use loss as a launchpad for living.

You know, I always write about various aspects of life and different perspectives on living it. Today I want to reflect on life itself and what can come from experiencing the loss of life.

We had a death in our family recently; my sister-in-law Terri lost her sister Stacey after a hard-fought battle with cancer. My nieces lost an aunt, two young boys lost their mother, her husband lost his wife, and our community lost an incredibly resilient and lovely human.

I’d known Stacey personally for about 20 years – I wrote a song and sang at her wedding, we’d see each other at family functions, and most recently she was a client here at the studio. She was an amazing mother, teacher, sister, wife, aunt, and friend.

Death is a tricky subject; it brings up a lot of energy and emotions based on your experience with it – and since life is precious, death is usually seen solely as a loss. Naturally this makes sense because, with death comes sadness, grief, longing, and an emotional rollercoaster. That said, through the experience of losing a loved one we have much to gain in the form of perspective.

So today we’re going to dedicate this issue to Stacey and discover how we can use loss as a launchpad for living.


celebrating life

More than anything, loss teaches us what’s really important. Nobody gives a $#!% how much money you have or how many Instagram followers you have when you die. What you leave behind is the impact you’ve had on the people in your life.

Stacey’s celebration of life was an event like I’d never seen. There had to have been 400-450 people there… if not more. In the car ride on the way home Steve and I both said we’re not sure we’d be able to fill a room like that once we’re gone. It really spoke to the impact Stacey had on the people in her life and it also showed the incredible support for her family and friends – what a legacy!

The sadness of losing her was very real, but the love and support in that hotel conference room was tangible. Firefighters lined the halls in solidarity with Stacey’s husband. Family and friends filed in to support with their presence, creating a standing room only situation. Most notably, Stacey’s boys had both of their hockey teams there to support them and, let me tell you, seeing young men at 8 and 13 years old hug their friends and teammates while offering words of condolences was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

This was an amazing example of how, when times are tough, good people show up to share memories, laughs, tears and hugs. We don’t make it through life or death alone – it takes a village.


loss as fuel for living

From friends to sisters, a host of touching and impactful speeches filled this celebration of life. The final speech came from my brother, Jeff and, as far as eulogies go, this was pretty next level. In particular, there was a moment where Jeff shared how Stacey never gave herself enough credit for how strong and resilient she was – not just through her cancer journey but through her life.

With that said, Jeff invited the crowd to give Stacey the recognition she deserved for how incredible she was – and what started as applause turned into a thunderous standing ovation – it was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. We all got to experience this surge of love, admiration and appreciation directed at this amazing woman. She may not have physically been in the room, but you could definitely feel her there. I’ll never forget this moment.

Among many great insights, Jeff also shared some great perspectives on using loss as a means to live a better life.

“Last spring I had a conversation with Stacey and one of the topics that came up was being labelled ‘palliative’ and the inevitability that her time would come. In an effort to bring her some peace I said, “Stace, every single one of us is palliative – we’re all on our way home, we just don’t know when.” Later I would find out this conversation did bring her some peace. These words are a reminder to all of us that this physical life is finite.

When we lose someone close to us – in those feelings of shock and awe, there is this beautiful place where we understand we’re not here forever. The loss fuels a feeling inside reminding us life is short and we have an opportunity to turn that pain into powerful questions: What can I do to be better? What if I made that hard decision? What if I quit this thing? What if I start that thing? What if I had that tough conversation? What if I told that person I love them?”

Jeff’s right — we’ve got this one amazing life to live, let’s live it.


finding the light

If you’re dealing with loss or grief, I’d like to offer up a few resources. Firstly, my longtime friend Tammy Faulds is an exceptional Grief Coach. She uses actionable steps to help you navigate, feel and transmute the energy that comes with the grieving journey. Whether you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, a career, or any change in your life or lifestyle, I cannot recommend this warm and wonderful woman enough! Check her out here.

Secondly, you’ve got Vortex (of course). You may not think a self care studio is a hot spot for healing your heart but you’d be mistaken. By regulating your nervous system, giving your mind and body a break, and restoring your energy, you’re able to start feeling better. When you feel better you’re able to find the light at the end of the tunnel and understand that, while life will be different, it does go on and doesn’t have to be so heavy.

As anyone who has lost someone knows, grief is f!@#ing exhausting. As you feel your feelings and process your emotions, it’s a great idea to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, and that’s what we do – we take care of you!  Specifically, I highly recommend NuCalm. Not only does it calm your nervous system and give you back lost hours of sleep, we’ve had great success with people dealing with loss and grief and watched them come back to themselves.

Lastly… there’s time. Grieve on your own schedule, move forward on your own schedule and don’t let anyone tell you what that timeline is supposed to look like. While nothing can bring your loved one back, you get to take their energy forward with you and slowly heal day by day, minute by minute. We can use their absence as a reminder of the love we’re capable of.

So in honour of Stacey, let’s live our lives with love and resiliency in the driver’s seat and remember how lucky we are to be here. Life is short. Make it sweet!

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location:
245 Raglan St. 2nd Floor
collingwood, on
705-293-4244

hours:
wed-fri  10-7
sat 11-5
sun-mon  10-5

LOCATION

245 Raglan St. 2nd Floor
collingwood, on
l9y 3z1

705-293-4244

STUDIO HOURS

monday  10-5
tuesday  closed
wednesday  10-7
thursday  10-7
friday  10-7
saturday  11-5
sunday  10-5

CONTACT US

gift cards

Gift cards are available for purchase in-studio in any amount.
We’ll give you a nice lil’ card and envelope for it as well. So stop by the studio any time during business hours and we’ll hook you up!

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Thank you!