Well hello there! Long time, no see. We had a mini hiatus while we were living our retirement fantasy in Florida. Damn, that was nice to shut things down for a bit and regroup! I had a lot of time for reflection, and even more time for laying in the sun listening to Kokomo by the Beach Boys on repeat. Upon returning, it was so nice to come into the studio with fresh energy and be even more grateful for the wellness wonderland we’ve created.
You know, sometimes when people see Vortex for the first time they’ll say “wow, this must be a dream come true!” Given the fact that I had done everything in life other than wish to have a brick and mortar wellness studio, normally I would half-jokingly say “actually this place happened because none of my dreams came true”.
I’ve realized that statement is tinged with a smidge of negativity, so I’ve been wanting to reframe it. Luckily a moment of Floridian introspection helped me get there. I was doing a meditation exercise where I was guided to go back to the earliest moment in my life where I felt a spark of where I really felt like I was being myself.
Today I want to share that spark of a moment because everything has come full circle. Spoiler alert: yes this is yet another story about me doing something silly on stage and people clapping for me.
be your own cheerleader
By the time I was in Grade 8 I had gone through many years of teasing and bullying at my Catholic elementary school. I never felt like I could be myself without getting made fun of. I didn’t have a ton of real friends, but a fellow goofball named Holly and I would spend our time at recess rehashing the latest episode of Saturday Night Live (which, in hindsight we were probably too young to be watching) and mimicking the characters and sketches.
Cut to the end of year Grade 8 talent show. After several sloppy skits and repetitive dance sequences (look at me judging these grade 8 kids), Holly and I got up there and closed the show with a tribute to our favourite SNL characters: Craig and Ariana: the Spartan Cheerleaders. Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri played these hyperactive cheerleaders on who always cheered in the silliest situations (chess tournaments, swimming pools, and even a hospital delivery room).
Because we were at an elementary school, I had written a sketch where Holly and I were acting as Craig and Ariana cheering on a faculty meeting in the staff room. We were getting some laughs right away which put us at ease, and then we just totally went for it like we did at recess. Two of the biggest nerds in school were just being themselves…. And after our very first ridiculous cheer and the iconic jump-turn, the crowd went completely. f!@#ing. crazy.
The moment burned in my mind is Holly and I sitting on the bench looking at each other with wide eyes and a collective unspoken feeling of “holy $#!% this is amazing!” These parents, teachers and students that had previously been politely engaged and slightly bored were absolutely losing their minds. We were getting late-night comedy laughs at 14 years old and just eating it up. I’ll never forget it.
So here’s the thing: for many years I identified that moment as the catalyst for my dream to be a performer… and I chased that dream for a while. So how the hell did I end up as the CEO of a futuristic wellness studio?
a dream come true… sort of
That moment on stage – my first real performance – always had me thinking my dream was to be a performer but thanks to that meditation I realized at the core of it… I just wanted to be myself and make people feel good. That’s a beautiful dream, if you ask me.
Thanks to a somewhat natural knack for entertainment (and a severe case of middle child syndrome) I’m not at all surprised that I confused “making people feel good” with “I need to have a spotlight and applause to survive”. But as I chased the performance dream, it wasn’t as fulfilling as my 14 year old self had assumed.
When we decide on a dream for ourselves, we’re essentially telling our future selves “just so you’re aware, THIS is what we’re working towards. Don’t f!@# it up!”. But as we live and evolve, our experiences and relationships can alter our conscious and subconscious desires and, as we get closer to the manifestation, we realize the dream has changed shape or it may not be all it’s cracked up to be.
I think the problem comes when we assign blame or guilt to ourselves for “not getting there” when in reality, we’ve ended up exactly where we were supposed to.
For example, your childhood dream of living in a mansion might have come from a place where you thought a mansion would indicate financial wealth or a large house with a large family. Over time, you may have experiences that will cause you to outgrow your dream and you’ll end up financially well off but living in a tricked-out van travelling around the country enjoying your life more than you could have ever imagined.
Or perhaps you grew up in a small town, dreaming of the elusive ‘big city’, only to achieve that, realize it wasn’t what you wanted after all, and ended up back in your hometown happier than ever.
Simply put, it’s highly possible the you that had the dream might have been speaking from inexperience, or maybe…just maybe… you weren’t dreaming big enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I know people’s very specific dreams come true all the time. Good for them! More likely, though, I feel that we unknowingly try to line ourselves up with a future that we think will make us happy and end up growing into someone who doesn’t actually require that specific thing to make us happy.
redefining the dream
I lived for so long under the flawed premise that the ‘me’ who first had the dream would be the same ‘me’ as my life progressed. But now I realize that dreams aren’t necessarily solid structures that stand as statues in our future waiting for us to find them. Dreams are shapeshifters – they’re adaptive and responsive. We change… so why shouldn’t our dreams?
We become a new version of ourselves every single day. You can continue to redefine the dreams of the past, or you can step into a dream you couldn’t possibly have dreamt up… like owning a high-tech self care studio that makes many people feel amazing every day.
If you’re struggling to figure out what your next big dream is, I have a challenge for you:
Stop dreaming about where you want to be, or what you want to have and start dreaming about who you want to be.
We can’t control every little detail of the Universe in order to end up where we think we want to end up – BUT – we can shape ourselves into the ‘me’ we wanna be. Because you know what’s easier than changing the world into what you want? Evolving into a person who can thrive in whatever world they walk into.
And you know how we do that? We practice.
Practice kindness, patience, courage, conviction, confidence, empathy, open-heartedness, open-mindedness… and jujitsu if you have the time.
The best version of your life is waiting for the best version of you. And since we can’t accurately predict the future, the best thing we can do is focus on ourselves so we’re ready for the dream when it arrives, and however it arrives.
For now, I’ll be here: being myself and making people feel good, a cheerleader for every human who wants to become the best version of themselves. Come on in an become the best you!