Today I want to talk about those times where life doesn’t go as planned… when things get a little weird and wild, but you still need to show up in the world. Learning to handle anything that comes your way takes resiliency and adaptability – and both of those require practice through life experience. I also think it requires a sense of humour because life is always throwing curveballs our way – it helps find the comedy in it.
I’ve always been a highly adaptable person. I believe adaptability is a superpower and I’m thrilled that mine has been strengthened by living a life filled with variety and “what the f**k” moments. That said, nothing has prepared me for the unknown quite like live theatre.
It’s one thing to figure out what to do in life when you’re alone and have time to navigate the situation. It’s a completely different energy when you’re in the spotlight in front of hundreds of people staring at you and things go wrong. But man, what a place to learn what “the show must go on” really means.
Settle in whilst I regale you with a hilarious tale of the stage.
dan the pan
When I was 23, I very proudly beat out a 17-year-old girl for the role of Peter Pan in the musical Peter Pan. As someone who never wanted to grow up (and still hasn’t) this role was absolutely made for me. I learned all the songs and dances and even learned to fly! We had a professional rigging system and every show I would get to soar across the stage alongside Tinkerbell, singing gleefully while the flying harness vice-gripped my groin with the forceful assurance that I’d never be able to have children.
One fateful weekend after a matinee performance, we were told that there was a musical licensing mishap and that the backing tracks to the songs had to be changed for the evening show. With our next sold out performance only two hours away, we found out the new tracks were substantially different – different lengths and tempos, and some even in different keys – but we wouldn’t have time to go through them before we went on. That’s right, a live musical where the cast hasn’t heard the f*n music – a nightmare scenario.
That night, after I burst through the window and landed softly in the Darling family nursery, I rescued Tinkerbell from the drawer, sewed my shadow back on, and got ready to sing my first big song, “I’ve Gotta Crow”. I said my cue line… the music started…and this is where every piece of $#!% hit every single fan.
Not only was the song in a different key and a different tempo… the new track and the old track were playing at the same time! This created a horrific sonic experience that sounded like a high school marching band playing on top of a polka festival from hell.
I will never forget the split-second brain explosion I had. “Okay, now what? Are they going to stop and restart? Okay, they’re not restarting. I guess I keep going. I guess I keep going???”
I jumped and danced around the stage with a big smile on my face and my ears peeled, attempting to find any note to sing to. I ended up sing-speaking my way through the madness and after my big final note I hit my signature Peter Pan pose as the song(s) ended.
Crickets… and then the slowest, saddest clap you’ve ever heard. It was completely mortifying.
With the next song, “I’m Flying” only moments away, I had to rally, knowing this next test would include another new mystery track and navigating flight choreography. Meanwhile I’m teaching Wendy, John and Michael to “think happy thoughts” while anxiously waiting to murder the sound guy at intermission.
“Up we goooo!” The next song started as I was lifted 20 feet in the air. The good news was only one song played; the bad news was it was in a much higher key. Luckily I can sing pretty high, but that trip to Neverland was one of the most stressful moments of my life.
As we approached the second star to the right, the crowd cheered, the curtain closed and the flight crew lowered me down; that’s when my carefree smile turned into a wide-eyed rage.
That’s also when Peter Pan screamed “What the F******CK was that!?!?”, startling everyone from the stage manager to the Lost Boys.
The crew untethered me and, like a scorned diva, I stormed off stage, past a sympathetic-yet-horrified Captain Hook, and slammed the door to my dressing room.
I calmed down during intermission, and somehow the rest of the show went off without a hitch. After the show, several audience members told me they enjoyed the show and thought I was amazing. This blew my mind – I was so focused on what went wrong that I didn’t give myself credit for the fact that I kept going, and everything worked out.
This production of Peter Pan saw all kinds of hilarious mishaps – like the time the substitute flight crew slammed me repeatedly into the set while I hung there like a human pinãta… or the time I almost blinded myself with pixie dust. Good times.
Lesson learned: the show must go on, and so must you.
This show was one of the best learning experiences of my life. I showed myself that even in the midst of the completely terrible and embarrassing moments in life I can still show up and make it through.
just keep going
Now, not everyone is blessed with the stress of live performance as a teacher, but we all have our “stages” in life that provide the lessons we need to grow stronger.
Humans have to deal with a lot. You don’t know how you’re going to handle a situation until you’re forced to handle it. It’s rarely comfortable but it’s always an opportunity for expansion. I think the real growth comes from being conscious during the process.
When new, bad, sad, or uncomfortable situations happen, we have a choice: hide, or show up. I believe that we might as well face those moments head on, because the lesson is going to circle back around until we prove to ourselves that we can handle it. The “show” is life, and it’s gonna go on whether we like it or not.
That’s why I love this phrase: If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.
Keeping your $#!% together means that you need to put some forethought and a little bit of effort into staying aligned with yourself; paying attention to your nervous system, how your mind, body and spirit feels, and being proactive with your self care so you can feel confident enough to take on the randomness of human existence. You’ll always face challenges, some trickier than others, but no matter what it is – if it’s happening, you can handle it.
And whether you get a slow clap, or no clap, you can give yourself a standing ovation knowing that you got through another f’d up moment on planet earth – one more piece of proof that as long as you’re breathing you can do whatever it takes to keep moving forward.
All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.
